So I'm sure you're all (and by all I mean its likely that its only my two friends who are reading this, and those same two friends already know the story because they were there most of the time) dying to know how I came about finding the wedding dress of my dreams. Well now you can stop biting your nails in much anticipation, because I'm about to get into all the nitty gritty details. Step by step, I will take you back in time along my journey to find the dress of my dreams. I warn you, this story is not for the faint of heart. And its really long. I'll indicate where you can take a quick refreshments breaks.1. Online Browsing
I began browsing for dresses long before I got engaged. Its something that I've been doing probably since high school, just for fun, aiding in my youthful daydreams of what my actual wedding day and dress would be like. It was such a far away fantasy. But now, its real. I remember going through bridal websites, picking out all the ones that I loved, and thinking, "I love this dress so much, I really hope this dress will still be around when I actually get married." But as with all fashion designers, and fashion lines, every season the styles change, the times change, and your own opinions about fashions evolve. So I'm sure what I loved then, probably isn't what I would love now. That's the beauty of fashion, it evolves, and you evolve alongside it, or vice verse.
2. Choosing a Sillouette
I consider myself very fashion forward, without going over board. I have simple tastes. When looking at wedding dresses, I gravitated towards a simple sillouette. I like dresses that hug the body, and show off what slim figure I have. I knew that I didn't want a big poofy ball gown, or an obnoxiously long train. I liked the idea of lace, and off white colors like ivory, or blush, or champagne. I picked out gowns that were a-line, sheath, or trumpet.
An a-line is fitted at the bodice and flows out to the ground, with an unbroken line (resembling the outline of an uppercase A).This cartoon drawing is kind of the extreme of a-lines. The one I had in mind falls closer to the body, but you can definitely build up the "A" shape with as much crinoline as one needs.
Sheath fits very closely to the contours of the body. It has a straight skirt with no waist.
Trumpet fits closely to the body until the midhip and then widens gradually to the hem (resembling the mouth of a trumpet). Often confused with mermaid, but trumpet flairs from mid-hip, whereas mermaid flairs below the knee.
3. Deciding on a Budget
Budget is one of the most important aspect that must be hashed out with the bride, bride and groom, or bride and bride's parents BEFORE you start shopping for dresses. One of the cardinal rules that they preech on TLC's "Say Yes to the Dress" reality show is that you should never try on dresses that are above your price range. If you do, it will only result in heartarche and dissappointment, always. Especially if you cannot stray from your original budget. I understand its hard to control your dress trying on urges, but its really best to lay down a maximum price point, and stay there.
I learned very quickly that there is that perfect dress for anyone at any price range if you're willing to look. When it was my turn to decide on what my budget would be, I realized that it would be quite low. I was worried that I wouldn't be able to find those fabulous gowns that I've had my heart set on since I was a teenager. But alas, I didn't have a choice. I had to start looking at dresses that I knew I could afford. So I had to say goodbye to the ideas of Monique Lhuillier and Vera Wang.
I first started off by finding bridal salons in my area. Most bridal salons have websites that list which designers they carry, and some even list what the price ranges are. Once I had some designer names, I went to almost each designers website to look are their wedding gown collections. I came across so many designers that had such memorial dresses at reasonable prices. All unique in their own way, and all intricate with so much detail they could easily be mistaken for high end priced gowns. I couldn't believe how beautiful some of the dresses were. I was no longer discouraged. Some designers that stood out and were available at the bridal salons in my city were Pattis, Pronovias, La Sposa, Lazaro, Blue by Enzoani, and my favorite, Watters.
4. Narrowing Down the Dresses
So after months of browsing for dresses online, I finally narrowed down my favorites. My first place choice was a beautiful Lazaro sweetheart a-line, with the perfect lace accents in all the right places. There were also a few Watters gowns that I had in mind, but there was one in particular that stood out, and that I deemed a very close second pick. It was a straight across strapless trumpet gown. The bodice had english netting that criss crossed across the front, with lace underneath. The bottom was simple tulle, that just flowed outwards from your hips. Its very difficult to explain such intricate detils of such a dress, so I know it'll be hard to picture.
Now that my choices were narrowed down, I called the salon that carried both gowns, S2, to see if those dresses were in stock. To my surprise and delight, they had my first pick Lazaro gown there. I was so excited, I couldn't wait to get in there to try it on. The dress of my dreams at my disposal. She quoted me a price of around $3000 I think. I don't remember, it was so long ago.
I didn't actually get into the store until about a few weeks later. A friend and I stopped in there one afternoon, they don't take appointments, and luckily for us there was no one else there. I asked about the Lazaro dress, and the lady told me they had just sold the sample a few days ago, and wouldn't be getting in another one. Womp-wahhhhh. Dreams, crushed. She said they could still order it, but that's if I was willing to full out buy the dress without trying it on, and not be able to return it if I didn't work out. I was not willing to do such a drastic thing, especially considering that this was my first time at a bridal salon, and I hadn't even tried any dresses on at all yet. Okay, so that Lazaro dress was now out of the running. I still had those Watters dresses I liked too. The lady then proceeded to tell me that most of their Watters gowns, including the ones I wanted to try on, were away at a trunk show and wouldn't be back for a few weeks. So far, this day wasn't going as planned. We still pulled a few dresses and I did end up trying some on that day, but didn't leave with any emotional connection to any of them. As you'll soon find out, retailers selling samples, and dresses being away at trunkshows will be the theme of my dress buying experience.
Next Up, S2's sister store Sonia's. S2 stands for Sonia's second store, I presume. Sonia is this amazing seamstress who is well known for her ability to alter wedding dresses. or so the legend goes. What's really great about both of these stores is that when you purchase a wedding dress from either of them, Sonia will alter the dress at no cost. Now that's a good deal. Sonia's had a smaller selection than S2, but the designer names were all still there. I pulled a handful of dresses, and had my bridesmaids pull some that they liked too. All were just okay. Then I decided to take a look at their clearance rack. Everything on that rack didn't look like much to be honest, probably why they were on that rack, but for some reason I was drawn to this one champagne colored lace dress hanging there. It didn't look very flattering on the hanger, so I'm not really sure why I even wanted to try it on. When I did, it fit like a glove. It was everything I wanted in a dress. It was form fitting, had a lace overlay, and the color was fantastic. The neckline was a lace halter, and was so different and unique. I loved the way it made my figure look, and I was very drawn to it. Plus it was on sale! I was almost ready to walk away with the dress. So very close. The price was perfect on top of the fact that it seemed to be the perfect dress. Although I really loved it, I decided to still sit on the idea for a bit. I asked the lady to give me a call if someone else was showing any interest.
6. Saying "Yes"
The next day, I was still thinking about the champagne dress. But I also knew that I wanted to try on those Watters gowns that were away at that trunkshow. I decided to call S2 just to see when they'd be back. When I phoned, they said that they were already back. It was mid afternoon, and so I rushed downtown before the store closed to finally try on those much awaited dresses. Again, no one else was there, so I was able to get into those dresses right away. I tried my second dress pick, and fell in love. It was the one that I had wanted and it looked great on me. I loved it so much from the pictures, and the fact that I had so much want attached to this dress made my decision very easy. I tried on a couple more dresses, but that Watters one was the one. The price was smack dab in my price range, so really it couldn't have got any better. And so I told told her I was ready to say, "Yes." I came back the next day with one of my bridesmaids to get measured, and to show her the dress. She loved it so much, she cried. I had to put down a 50% deposit to have the dress made to order, and had to pay the balance when the dress came in. This is a standard for most bridal salons, I believe. They gave me an estimated arrival date of early January.
7. Its Finally Here!
After waiting only 3 short months, (short because I am a full student, and so that 3 months just flew by)and not having looked at any more dresses, I finally got the phone call saying my dress had arrived. I was so excited to go pick it up, and actually put on the dress in a size that is closer to mine, without having all those clothespin holding it on.
When I got to the store, and she brought out the dress in its nice package, I was so antsy. I got to try it on before we fully packaged it up, and when I put it on, it was still a little too big, but that's expected, and that's what alterations are for. I stepped out onto the podium, in front of the floor to ceiling mirrors, and looked at myself with the dress on. The salesclerk asked , "So, do you still love it?" And I remember saying, "Of course," but also remember thinking, "I guess I don't have a choice now..."
8. The Second Guessing
The second guessing was all my fault. After a few months of having the dress in my possession, and trying it on a few times at home, I for some stupid reason decided to go onto the Watters website. I'm not sure what I was trying to accomplish, and I certainly didn't have any type of motive or goal in mind as to why I wanted to visit the website, but I went. I stumbled upon an absolutely stunning wedding gown in their more expensive line. This dress literally blew me away and back, and cast doubt on my original dress decision. This dress was so powerful! It had all these amazing elements that my dress didn't even come close to having. Compared to this new dress, mine was a plain jane. I was now in a state of panic. What was I going to do? I already had a wedding dress, yet I loved this one so much more than I remember ever loving the one I have. I could really picture myself walking down the aisle in this dress, and I felt that when my guests would see me in this dress, they would be in awe at how intricate and unique this dress was, and how its like nothing they've ever seen. I thought this dress embodied everything about me more than the other one. Boy was this quite the dilemma. I frantically messaged my maid of honour telling her what a pickle I was in emotionally, and physically with this dress situation.
She settled me down, and helped us both to come to the solution that I should go and try this dress on, to get it out of my mind. It wasn't so much that I thought I may want it more, it was more of a psychological torture for myself, wanting to know if this dress could look better than the dress I already have. It haunted me, and I needed to just try it on! She assured me that if I did choose to get the new dress, we could somehow work out a way to sell my first dress. And if it didn't look good, at least I'd finally know and could go on happily.
S2 had the dress in stock, and so we went to the store a few days after I called to finally try on this monster. When we got there, and explained to the lady who had sold me my first dress that we were there to try on this other dress, said that the dress we were looking for was away at a trunkshow. Surprise, surprise. She was wondering if I was looking to purchase a second dress, and I told her I wanted to try this dress on because I loved it so much, and I might want to buy it. She said it'd be back the following week, and to stop by then. Damn! I have to wait another torturous week.
So a week goes by, and I call just before I'm headed out to door to go downtown to the store. The lady says she'd have to check to see if the dress came in and would call me back. I went for a coffee while I waited anxiously, because I was ready to go. I even told my friend to meet me there. I finally got a call back saying that the dress was still away, but that it would be back the next week. I was frustrated, but there was again, nothing for me to do.
So another week goes by, and I call again only to have the store clerk tell me that it will now be gone for another month. She said she had my phone number, and would give me a call as soon as it came in, which would be in early February. That was the last time I ever heard from her. I felt like they were kind apathetic and brushing me off because they knew I already had a dress, and so they must have thought I was just being annoying, and wasn't really a serious buyer. That's just how I felt. Although I'm pretty sure you all think I'm bat shit crazy at this point.
What did come from this experience was that I could no longer stand the wedding dress that I had. I realized now that I just settled. I had a very narrow view and idea of what I wanted, and thought that that was the dress because it was the only one I was looking at. When looking back, I don't know if I really did have the "wow" moment. Maybe that's just what I think to make myself feel better about getting a dress that I no longer like, I don't know. All I knew was that I couldn't walk down the aisle feeling the way I did about the dress. And so...
** Refreshment break **
** Refreshment break **9. The Search Begins Again
I was now on the search for a new wedding gown. This time, I wasn't going to settle. I don't really know how the situation escalated, but I was now browsing at dresses that were 4 or 5 times more expensive than my original dress, and I wasn't ready to back down. I now had my heart set on this amazingly beautiful gown (not the one to the right). The did some research and found out there was one store in town that carried this dress. It was Evalina Couture. This shop carries higher end designers, as mentioned in a previous article.
10. New Wedding Gown >> Chanel Handbags
The next few weeks I was doing all sorts of crazy things to try and accomodate my new budget. It especially sucked, because I was still sitting on my old dress that I had already spent $1300 on, and now I was trying to get another dress that was 5 times more. I made the radical decision to get rid of some of my most beloved possessions in order to afford this dress. I figured that I only get one wedding day and one wedding dress to wear, and I can purchase a designer handbag at any point in my life. That was my own justification at least. So the wedding dress trumped everything else, and although I hated having to sell some of most favorite items, I decided that it was for the greater good.
I made an appointment when I was ready, and when I called the store, Evalina told me they had sold the sample of the dress I wanted to try on! Oh my god! I went into extreme panic mode, and couldn't believe my luck, again! She said it was an emergency, and bride had come in looking for a dress to wear for her April wedding, and so they sold her the sample so she could have it in time. Evalina said should would have done the same for anyone else, including me. I was driving home, on the phone with my fiance with tears streaming down my face. I didn't have the dress I wanted, and now I didn't have the items I had to sell to get that dress. I was discouraged at this point.11. Off to the Shops for a Second Run
I kept my appointment, and went anyways. I wasn't sure what I was going to find, if anything at all. I had even contemplated flying out to Vancouver to a store that carried the gown that I wanted out there. That wouldn't have been a very smart or budget friendly idea, and as understanding as my fiance was being, that may have been pushing it. My two bridesmaids came with me, and having already been through this before, I was expecting the same old go around. But then I got to the store, it was totally different. Evalina created this totally different dress shopping experience that I wasn't aware was possible. She greeted us at the door, and walked us into her beautiful artfully furnished boutique decorated with vintage furniture, floor to ceiling mirrors, and racks of beautiful wedding gowns. We sat down, and she asked me how I pictured my wedding. I got the feeling that this was going to be a very personalized visit. Not like at S2 or Sonia's at all. She pulled out all of these gorgeous dresses that she thought would fit the concepts and ideas that I told her about. The gowns were stunning. The salon was unreal. It was really a wonderful experience. I tried on a total of maybe 5 or 6 dresses.
12. The One
The second dress that I put on wasn't like anything I had ever even thought about. The sillouette was completely different from what I pictured myself in, and it truly took all of us back. It was elegant, simple, understated, modern, yet had minimalistically unique features that all together made this dress so much more than anything I could have ever dreamed up. I didn't know dresses this beautiful existed. She gave me a veil, and bouquet, and that totally sealed the deal. Evalina said we could change the proportions of the different sections of the dress so that it flattered my height better, and would of course add a bustle. I tried on the other dresses we pulled, but in the end, it was that dress that truly gave me the feeling of true bridal beauty. It was a feeling that I had never encountered before with a wedding dress, and so I knew this dress was the one.
She told me I didn't have to decided right away, but I knew deep down inside that this dress was the one I'd been searching for. Its the one I picture myself walking down the aisle with, its the one I pitcure my guests just being comepletely blown away by. It embodies me, my style, and my personality. It is truly a vision.
I told her I was ready to buy it, and because it was my first visit to the salon and I decided on a dress, she gave me a 10% discount. They like decisive brides. Plus, she said that's about what the cost of alterations would be, so its just a way of them to help out with that. They have a seamstress in house too, and Evalina herself is actually a wedding gown designer, so you know you'll get what you want in the dress alterations.
I'm so happy that I finally got the dress that I wanted, and I can assure you that this will be the last. All I do is look at the pictures of this dress, and honestly no other dress can compare. I've still been browsing, but I don't have that insecurity I did with that other dress. When I look at dresses now, I think that none of them come close to my dress. Its a great feeling, and I can't wait to wear it down the aisle. I would have loved to desribe the dress, but I don't want to give anything away for people that may be at the wedding. You'll just have to wait and see.
And now for the Pre-Owned Wedding Dresses plug:
I mentioned earlier that I was trying to sell my first wedding dress, and I still am looking for a buyer. Click on this link, and it will bring you to the listing. If you know someone who is getting married and looking for an inexpensive wedding gown, please direct them to either me or this ad. I need all the advertising I can get! Remember, this dress has never been worn or altered. Its still got the tags, and still in its original packaging.
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